"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
