mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This girl is more easily done than said...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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