Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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