Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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