Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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