I think my vagina is haunted
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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