taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
