I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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