after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize