***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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