The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
