i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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