so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
