My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
its liver damage thursday
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