yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
