I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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