I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
