I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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