he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize