Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
