Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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