There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
