I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
