FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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