Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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