vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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