what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I am naked and annoyed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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