Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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