Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
