im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
