I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
