Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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