Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
