My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize