Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
