I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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