I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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