just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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