I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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