no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
