some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
