I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
