im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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