Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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