she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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