she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
