Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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