I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
