Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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