I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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