dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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