I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
