I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize