Buhtt sex?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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