He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
