I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
