Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize