You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
