And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
