How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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