Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
