Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
