my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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