i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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