Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
