Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
