and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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