So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
