so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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