Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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