It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
