you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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