i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
