Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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