i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
