i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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