You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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