one word: firstdatebathroomanal
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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